Saturday, November 24, 2012

Thankful


Thankful for us adopting him
As we sit down to our Thanksgiving dinner, we take a moment to mention something we are thankful for.  Just one thing.  It doesn't have to be profound.  It doesn't have to be a big thing.  It just needs to be something we are truly thankful for.

Thankful to be legal!
As Maddy poured herself a glass of wine, she told us she was thankful to finally be 21.  

Without skipping a beat Mikias said, "I am thankful to Mom and Dad for adopting me."

As Jemberu squirted ketchup all over his turkey he told us what he was thankful for, "Ketchup!"

This may sound weird, but I am looking forward to the Thanksgiving that Mikias is thankful for a condiment, or an age, a sport, a pet, a food or a girl (actually, not a girl, not yet).  It's not just Thanksgiving that reminds him to be thankful for us adopting him.  There is not a night that he says his prayers that he doesn't thank God for us adopting him.  Not just thankful for us.  Thankful for us adopting him.

Thankful for ketchup
Jemberu never tells us that he is thankful for us adopting him.  He takes us and his place in our family for granted.  I like that.  

When I was a kid, I don't recall being thankful that my parents adopted me.  I took my place in my family for granted, like Jemberu.  I want Mikias to take his place for granted as well.

I wonder if the thankfulness is the result of remembering.  Mikias remembers his life before us. Jemberu does not.   Mikias remembers wanting a family.  He remembers things that make him grateful for the love and security that a family provides. I can't take those realities away from him.  I can't make him tuck those memories away, where they are not so close to the surface.  I know that will take it's own time.

So, when Mikias is a teenager and I write a blog post about him taking us for granted, do me a favor and  remind me to be thankful.



8 comments:

  1. I am with you, Allison...I don't want Livvy to have to be thankful or grateful that we adopted her. I hope Mikias gets where Jemberu is one day...

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    1. Thanks, Julie! Me too. Funny thing, wanting our kids to take us for granted :)

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  2. Hi Alison,

    I think your blog is wonderful, and am a long-time faithful reader. (I generally read blogs on my RSS feed reader, so that’s why you haven’t seen me around previously... rest assured, I’ve been here!) I was recently nominated for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award, and have listed you as one of the blogs that I am nominating for the award in turn. Please visit http://notebooksandteacups.wordpress.com/2012/11/25/extra-blog-award-incites-fear-in-new-bloggers-heart/ in order to see my post which outlines the questions that you will need to answer, and note that the “rules” of the award stipulate that you should nominate between 10 and 12 blogs for the award yourself.

    I realize that I’m not on the Pulitzer committee, but please know that this nomination is heartfelt, and that I believe that you should be recognized for the awesome work that you’re doing. Congratulations.

    Thanks for the great gift that you give to the world through your writing and willingness to share your journey!

    NotebooksandTeacups

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    1. I am honored! Thank you so much for reading and for nominating me!

      Alison

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  3. When my daughter thanks me for adopting her, I say, "thank you for being my daughter. "

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    1. I always thank Mikias back, too! He always says "my pleasure" :)

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  4. Hi Alison! Here’s how I see it. Mikias is showy about how thankful he is that you adopted him. On the other hand, Jemberu shows his gratitude by feeling at home with all of you. It means that, for him, he really found his family. Don’t focus on what you want to hear from your children. Rather, be thankful that they are showing their love for you in their own ways.

    Aiko Dumas

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    1. Hi Aiko!

      You make a great point! Thanks for the comment.

      Alison

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