Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Middle Finger



The Red Sox season just started, youth baseball  too.  Mikias and Jemby are both in the farm league and playing together for the Cardinals.  When official parent-children talk (homework, meals, showers, rules and so on) isn't going on, I want to talk about one thing....baseball.  Mikias also has one subject on his mind but it's not baseball.  He wants to talk about the middle finger.

Friday: Mikias: "Does the middle finger really mean something bad?"

 Me: "Yes it does. Don't ever put it up, it is very rude."

 Mikias mutters something that sounds like 'too late' but when asked to repeat it, is silent.

Monday:  Mikias: "So what does the middle finger mean?"

 Me: "It is a mean way to say 'get lost'"

Mikias: "Why would you want somebody to be lost?" (Mikias is still very literal with language.)

Me: "I didn't explain it right but it is VERY rude and mean and you cannot put your middle finger up."

Mikias: "How can a finger mean anything?  It is just a finger."

Me: "No idea, but just don't do it, okay?"

Mikias: "Okay."

Wednesday:  The boys and I are at the home of friends.  Mikias and his pal Dante are engaged in a galactic battle with Lego ships.

Mikias:  (loudly) "Watch out Dante!  They are about to kick our asses!!"

 Me: "Mikias Warren Noyce!  That is NOT okay to say!  That is a REALLY BAD word!

Mikias: (calmly) "Which one?"

Me: "Asses"

Jemberu: Ooooohhhh....... Mumma just said asses!!"  Mumma said a bad word!!

Me: "Jemby, hush.  I am talking with Mikias."

Mikias " Thanks for telling me that.  I just learned something.  What did I say again?

Me: "Asses"

(later walking to the car) Mikias: "Does the middle finger mean ass?"

Me: "No.  Something worse.  A really bad word.

Mikias: "Please tell me, so I will know not to say it."

So I tell him the F word and the phrase that the middle finger represents.  I tell him that I am letting him know so he will understand if (let's face it..when) he hears it, that it is NOT okay to repeat.  Ever.

Mikias: "Thanks for trusting me with that information."

Me: "No problem, where did you hear 'kick our asses'?

Mikias:  "I have NO idea."

Today:  I was volunteering in Mikias's class and his teacher wanted to talk with me.  She told me that last  week Mikias had been putting up his middle finger and some of the boys told on him.  She assured me that he clearly had no idea that it was bad.  He asked her if he could still put up a 'peace sign' since when he did that his middle finger was up along with his pointer.  He got the green light for the peace sign and the red light for the middle finger.

So to put another digit to good use, he pinky swore he would never put up the middle finger again.  Phew.

4 comments:

  1. I know that i don't really get in touch with y'all often, but these little updates really crack me up, it's great knowing that everything is going so well for all of you.

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  2. Ok, even though I actually lived part of this with you and know the rest of the story, I still laughed out loud while reading it just now. Your retelling is so funny!

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  3. I love how literal kids can be. Josh is teaching Olivia how to use a cookbook to cook. Following instructions, measuring, planning the meal, etc. She saw the recipe for 'fish sticks' and wanted to know why you had to have all that stuff to bread them when you could just open the box and it was stuck on them anyway. :snickers:
    Had to tell her that fish didn't come all breaded...

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  4. my lil bro is sticking up his middle finger and hes only 4

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