Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Why would they go all the way to Ethiopia....
The rest of that question is 'when there are so many kids who need families right here?' That question is almost never asked to me, but to our family and our closest friends.
At first I thought it was so odd that no one asked me, when according to my friends there is a lot of curiosity about it. I suppose it is because when people ask me other questions about our boys it is out of a genuine curiosity. But this other question is kind of.... accusatory.
There are people that have a real anger about this topic. I have read articles where adopted children from certain countries are referred to as 'trendy fashion accessories'. What the ....? Like our children are cool new purses that we can tuck in the back of the closet when we are tired of them. How absurd.
My friends Karen and Mike adopted their daughter Katie from China. When Karen is asked "Why China?" her answer is "Because that is where my daughter was." I love that answer. I believe we get the kids that were meant to be ours, be it by birth or adoption.
For us, I felt a pull to adopt from Africa that I could not shake. I felt that our child was there waiting for us to come and get him. Although this took my husband by surprise, I am thankful he trusted my instinct. We felt the same way the second time we adopted, that a specific child was waiting for us. To us, Mikias and Jemberu were as meant to be our children as our biological children.
My friend Donald and his wife Geri chose to build their family through adoption from foster care. They adopted a sibling set of three and I am sure they feel that they got the children that were meant to be theirs.
People wouldn't dream of asking a couple who was expecting why they would choose to give birth when there are so many kids who need families. Yet when a family is formed by adoption many people feel that they deserve an explanation. Weird.
All children deserve a family, regardless of where they were born. Wouldn't you agree?