Sunday, August 9, 2009

Bonding



There is not too much in life that is better than watching your kids love each other. Not just knowing they love each other but seeing it happen, independent of parental direction.

When Mikias came home to us he was 4 1/2 and Devyn was a high school senior. Mikias was scared, overwhelmed and more than a little crazy. He didn't speak our language, he had known a life that was focused on survival. It was pretty obvious that when we brought him home, he had no idea that it was going to be forever.

His first night home, he took money out of Devyn's room and brought it to me in the hopes of buying food. He stuffed himself at every meal, played movies and music at only the highest volume. It was like he was trying to get the very most of his time with us. One thing that seemed to sooth Mikias was to take a bath. At least 4 times a day, he would grab one of us, take off his clothes and turn on the tap in the bathtub. He would scream in Amharic if we moved away from the tub, he wanted us right next to him at all times.

After the first day of this ritual, I walked into the bathroom to an unexpected sight. Devyn, was in her swim suit, in the tub with Mikias, hugging him and playing with him. Why didn't we think of this? Mikias was smiling from ear to ear. This went on for weeks. As soon as Devyn would arrive home from school, Mikias would greet her by handing her her swim suit and filling the tub. This not only soothed Mikias but it created a bond that is unshakable.


Devyn being a college student in South Carolina has done nothing to lessen the bond of my oldest girl and my oldest boy. They talk on the phone when frequently when she is at school. She is clearly in his thoughts.

One day when waiting for the bus he said to me "You know who is sweet and kind all the time?" I knew the answer to that one...."Devyn".

3 comments:

  1. I don't know how I missed this one. I love it! It is a true statement of Miki & Dev - BFF's forver. Big hugs to all of you!!! Bethe xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. omg i bawled/ am currently bawling reading this, this is so beautiful

    ReplyDelete
  3. omg i bawled/ am currently bawling reading this, this is so beautiful

    ReplyDelete